Facebook Status updates about Facebook:
____ If you read my entire Facebook timeline from the beginning, you can witness my descent into madness.
____ Facebook is the most bizarre group therapy session I've ever attended.
____ "You should take a picture of that meal and share it with me and everyone you know on Facebook!" -No one, ever.
____ I know life is unfair because the people I really want to stalk on Facebook never update sh*t. (from my Facebook Fan Page)
____ Suggestion for Mark Zuckerberg: When someone defriends me on Facebook, a picture of my bare ass pops up on their screen.
____ Fun Facebook Game: Accept a friend request from a person you don't know. Then, under all of their photos, comment "I don't remember who you are." (from my FAN PAGE)
Ventriloquism:
____ Ventriloquists would be a lot cooler if they could throw their farts.
Booze:
____ I might not be "Smarter Than a 5th Grader", but I can buy booze! Booyah!
Truth:
____ spends most of my day trying to pretend that I'm not addicted to my phone.
Mornings:
____ This would be a "Good Morning!" status update, but it's not, because morning sucks.
If you enjoyed these, you should consider BECOMING A FAN as my page is chock full of witty people and they like to share their status updates with others! If you think your status updates are funny and you'd like to see what thousands of people think, click HERE and share.
