I'm continuing a series of Facebook status updates that my readers have contributed over the last year. It's been great to see that so many of these have been used all over the internet since they originated HERE, at My Status Is Baddest. I have an amazing FAN PAGE with hundreds of new status updates a day! Sure, there are other Facebook Status update websites out there, but I dare you to find one with more originality.
____ One day, long, long ago there lived a woman who did not whine, nag, or complain. But it was a long time ago, and it was just that one day. (Chris Hallman)
____ Life lesson #35890: You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't flick your friends out the car window. (Donna Hudon)
____ True love is giving your spouse a bite of your sandwich...just a little bite though. (Donny Norris)
____ I was staring through my window and thinking to myself, "why am I watching my dog take a crap?". Then I read some Facebook friends' statuses, and I ran back to see if I could catch her finishing up. (Mustache Mann)
____ You know how we were raised by television? I dread the day someone's gonna tell me they were raised by Facebook. (Fadi BouKaram)
____ I love a woman in uniform. I mean naked. (Arthur Mabry)
____ Love beer = forced to work. (Matt Rogers)
____ Love walking up to random women in the mall and saying, "Sorry but it would never work between us." (Donny Norris)
____ Life is not like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow. (Danny Edenfield)
____ can say whatever the hell I want as my Facebook Status, and nobody will be offended as long as I smile at the end. Example: I hate everybody today :) (MY STATUS IS BADDEST)
____ Eating a bowl of generic frosted flakes... THEY'RRRRRRRRRREEE alright, I guess (Mike Seriously)
____ I don't like thinking before I say something. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth. (Mikel Khalil)
____ That awkward moment when u post a funny status and there's that one person who ruins it by saying something serious. (Jason Fundora)
____ Irony = Someone posting a status about how broke they are and at the bottom of their post it says:
8 minutes ago via iPad2 (William Hale)
____ My hangovers feel like someone is screaming at me in German. (Mike Seriously)
____ I wish the best for my ex-girlfriend. I really do. I hope she meets someone honest, friendly, and kind. Cause, you know, opposites attract. (Jacob Grant)
____ I went to fill out an application today. When I got to: "position applying for", I wrote "yours" followed by a " ;-) " and an "LOL". I think I NAILED it!! (Mustache Mann)
____ My boyfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, he’s not exactly my boyfriend yet. (Donna Young)
____ Mental note: Actual notes work better. (Makyra Nunes)
____ Sometimes when I post something I'll give it a "like" myself. You know, just to get the ball rolling. (SamGirl Sunday)
____ A real woman always keeps her house clean and organized, the laundry basket is always empty. She's always well dressed, hair done. She never swears, behaves gracefully in all situations and all circumstances. She has more than enough patience to take care of her family, always has a smile on her lips, and a kind word for everyone. Post this as your status if you, too, suspect that you might be a man. (Donna Hudon)
___ I bet all the cool math nerds call each other “Alge-bros.” (William Hale)
____ My main goal in life is to find out what my main goal in life is. Er... that was easy. (Danny Coleiro)
____ "Wish you were here" - me, thinking about the booze at home. (Lisa James)
____ The day after my birthday I changed my birthdate to the next day on Facebook to test a theory. Yup, nobody cared then either. (SamGirl Sunday)
____ Last night my status was "sleeping naked." I got "likes" from 4 girls, 1 guy and 6 mosquitoes. (Jad Bou Karam)
