____ Whenever someone ends their status with "LOL" I know it's a repost, cuz...who the hell laughs at their own statuses? LMAO! (Bob MuppetMan Brittain)
____ I have an irrational fear of Disco Music...It gives me the Heebie Bee Gees. (Donny Norris)
____ What age is the best to break it to my kids, that they're NOT adopted? (Mustache Mann)
____ You know how we were raised by television? I dread the day someone tells me they were raised by Facebook. (Fadi BouKaram)
____ I love a woman in uniform. I mean naked. (Arthur Mabry)
____ Love beer = forced to work. (Matt Rogers)
____ I hate when people comment on a status just to comment even though it has nothing to do with the original status. (Bob MuppetMan Brittain)
____ My ex texted me this morning: "I Miss You Baby." I replied: "We're sorry, the subscriber you are trying to reach doesn't give a sh*t." (Julie A Ostmann)
____ Sometimes, I lose sleep wondering if I'm one of those "F*ck...here comes that guy" guys. (Eric Caro)
____ These little "hug" juice "barrels" are too small! I can finish the thing in one gulp, lets make them bigger, much bigger, and why juice? Let's fill it up with beer! Wait, this sounds strangely familiar. (Dave Murawski)
____ We have Peeps in my country too, only we call them "sugar". (Danny Coleiro)
____ I have a sinking feeling we are gonna see some lame Titanic jokes. (Mys ter E)
____ My mom really doesn't like the idea of me being a stay at home dad. Especially with me not having a wife or any kids. (King Julien)
____ Random fact #1546: Men who help with housework also tend to get laid more often. (Jenni More)
____ I was just informed that some of my posts probably don't make it to this blog because I use too much profanity. I just don't see what the f*** the problem is here! (GoldRobo Dancer Guy)
