Tis the season to share the Holiday status updates my FACEBOOK FANS have shared:
____ As I scroll through my Facebook feed this holiday season, I find myself overcome with emotion and love. And then I remember I've had a lot of moonshine and I pass out on the floor. (My Status Is Baddest)
____ In my state it's not illegal to pepper spray someone on your property. Christmas carolers and UPS men be forewarned. (Thomas Christopher)
____ All I want for Christmas is for my family is to stop wanting for Christmas. (Norm Butler)
____ On the 12th drink of Christmas, I was drunk. (Lisa James)
____ This year, for Christmas, I want my money back. (Danny Coleiro)
____ It's that time of year again when commercials remind me that I will never get a car with a damn bow on it. (Carrie Leigh)
____ "Glo-o-o-o-o-or, o-o-o-o-o, o-o-o-o-oooor-ia... x32" - someone who wasn't very creative when it came to writing lyrics for Christmas carols. (Danny Coleiro)
____ I am officially in the Christmas spirit...by which, I mean, I hate everyone and everything and drink copious amounts of booze and pass out a lot. (Bob Brittain)
____ I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out I'll pop open the red and drink that. (Ruth Mcconnachie)
____ For the sake of equality, I'm making snowboobs instead of snowballs this year. (Danny Coleiro)
____ So when someone asks you "Where is your Christmas Spirit?" are you supposed to point out your liquor cabinet? (Lori Anne)
____ Can't wait to be full of Christmas beer! I mean cheer. No, I definitely mean beer. (Sara Lavoie)
____ "I know this time of year we concentrate on the North Pole, but my South Pole could really use some of your attention" - from my collection of failed Christmas pickup lines (Jack Olivar)
____ If you see me at the store and I'm wearing a big puffy coat zipped all the way up and I'm acting all anxious and shifty-eyed, don't strike up a conversation with me. I just got your Christmas gift. You don't want to be an accessory. (Dorraj Koob)
____ Does anyone know what a 'Fa Call' is? Because that's what my wife said she got me for Christmas this year. (Danny Coleiro)
____ Do you like real ones or fake ones? HEY! I was talking about Christmas trees, you pervert! (Dotty Joyner)
