-I've just eaten* sixteen bunches of grapes**
*drunk **bottles of wine (Danny Coleiro)
- Why do I get the feeling that a lot of you are using Facebook as a substitution for prescription meds? (MY STATUS IS BADDEST)
- Life is filled with people who either take too much medication or not enough. (Julie Ann)
- I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll smoke your joint down... ~ Big bad stoner wolf, probably (Tim TheStache)
- I only tip cows if their service is outstanding. (Jack Olivar)
- Does it make you uncomfortable that I wear your profile pic in a locket around my neck? (Toni Daniels)
-I have never lowered a pair of mini-blinds evenly, not even one time...How the hell do they expect me to raise these children? (Lee Greenspan)
- I don't think first three letters in diet are accidental. (Mike Seriously)
- Don't you hate it when the person you're Facebook-stalking never updates anything? (Tom William)
- Good Morning: You, my friends are the reason I wake up every morning ♥ LOL JK, I have to pee. (Julie Ann)
- Alright. Everybody calm down and quit panicking. I have a ham. (Dorraj Koob)
- Keep scrolling, I got nothin. (Les Chinyanga)
- I hate it when I'm taking a shower and the door opens and they're all "Get out of my house!" (Jodi Ann)
- I hate that awkward moment when you see a 3rd grader with a better phone than you. (Chris Batchelor)
- I hope that Jessica Biel has a son someday and names him Batmo. (Angie Granheim)
- I think if a movie is ever made about my life a good title for it would be, "Yes, it's a mustard stain. So?" (Donny Norris)
- I wish someone would write a movie about my life. I think "Pretty In Mayonnaise" would be a good title. (SamGirl Sunday)
- Today was one of those days where, if I had Tourette's, no one would've noticed the difference. (Danny Coleiro)
- I'm so glad none of my friends are smart enough to find this page! (Alicia Smith)
- I don't mean to be negative but - (SamGirl Sunday)
Visit my FACEBOOK PAGE tomorrow for more vintage status updates! Or, don't. But please do! I mean, you know, whatever. Please love me.
